It'll be just like last year, only more so.
It amuses me to write “Happy New Year” at this late date. In my town there are still colored lights on some houses, even Christmas trees showing through the windows, but to say “Happy New Year” after the first of January is akin to sending a bouquet of brightly colored balloons to a funeral. The New Year is all of one day. Once it’s done, we do not speak of happy new things. The joy of the holiday season has passed away. Everything is old and ordinary again until spring.
The first day of the year exists for one thing and one thing only, to recuperate from the indulgences of the night before—and God help you if you did have a good time, drinking and dancing and cheering as the clock ticked down to midnight. It was a good time that already seems long ago in another country, on the other side of an ocean of sleep.
Too bad, so sad if you’re a wagie who has to work in the many places that are open. New Year’s Day is not a traditional day for family gatherings and shared meals so take your aspirin, tank up on water, and come on into work. That said, it’s a curious hangover of COVID-mania that most places are short-staffed, but with the exception of two restaurants in town that were already failing for other reasons, most places were also open this year. It was good to see. I am resolved to enjoy such things while they last.
Happy New Year, then. As of today the biggest stories not being told are the media slowly shutting down the 22-month old COVID pandemic narrative and the lead-up to the inevitable career-ending defeat of the World’s Mightiest Military.
As for COVID-mania, I knew for sure it was all over as of yesterday (17 January) when I read the CEO of Pfizer declaring the crisis over by spring, thanks to the so-called Omicron variant somehow canceling out the deadlier strains. I’d noticed this narrative shift the week before regarding Omicron, that it was not a deadly new thing, but the not-so-bad variant that would save us all. The CEO of the company that had made the most bank on the media-stoked worldwide panic is finally cashing in his chips.
He doesn’t have to do this, of course, so someone’s obviously making him. My best guess is our ruling trash are bored with the pandemic panic and they’re canceling the show. The optics of pop stars and politicians cavorting maskless at parties among the masked-up help are starting to grate on the plebs. Time to strike the sets and move on to the next media-driven drama. I doubt the words “COVID” or “Pfizer” will be anywhere in evidence in the media this time next year. That’s a Happy New Year 2022 prediction for you.
I hope I’m right, because I’ve been bored with this from the jump, especially by the time the pandemic finally hit us for real in November. Save for the usual “Surges in Cases Nationwide!” headlines that thinking people long since stopped paying attention to, the media was strangely quiet. Looking back, that was the first clue the powers that be were backing off.
This brings me to the biggest historical event of the last couple of centuries, namely, the decisive defeat of the world’s mightiest empire. One question is whether the fat and proudly homosexual armed forces of the United States of America surrender in Taiwan first, or Kiev. It’s a one-two punch, and the world will not be the same once the elderly remains of Uncle Sam fall to the canvas.
One of the many lowlights of 2021 was not simply our sloppy-hasty withdrawal from Afghanistan, but how so many Post-Americans reacted to it. Twenty years after the 11 September 2001 disaster, people were cheering the Taliban. I doubt the schadenfreude-inspired euphoria will be quite as intense this time, but the sad fact is that most of us don’t have a home team to cheer for anymore.
Tradition makes an institution and if your thing is all about upending traditions and changing institutions—well, Twinkles, you can have it. We’ll just walk away with our memories of what was, casting about for that point when we can say, “There. That’s when it all started going to hell.” (Fun, overlooked fact: most military veterans are proud to say they served but they don’t miss their time in service. The military was already famously stupid when they were in. Now it’s gay and stupid.)
So when will China reclaim Taiwan? When does Russia send the anachronistic NATO home, whipped and humiliated? Will it be this year? These things will happen, that much is certain. And when it’s clear to the rest of the world that the United States of America is a failing republic with nukes? That’s when the real fun begins. I won’t even begin to try and speculate on how that will shake out. I prefer not to think about it at all.
Meanwhile, we’re seeing empty shelves in strange places in the stores but things eventually sort themselves out. So far. Gasoline prices have remained curiously stable since peaking in February, at least where I am. Again, I resolve to enjoy these things while they last.
I have one more prediction, this one regarding the midterm elections. There will be a “red wave,” a “conservative resurgence” sweeping ballot boxes throughout the land. “Voter discontent with Biden’s policies” will be the mildest point of blame, but what’s really happening is “restoring faith to a system that was falsely brought into question by Donald Trump and his supporters.” Too many people refuse to let go of their illusion about the USA being a free and fair republic in which honorable men do things honestly. Republican victories will be the bone they’ve been awaiting their master to throw them. The borders will remain wide open and cross-dressing narcissists will continue to creep on our children, but civility will reign on social media—and our votes do count!
A quietly growing subset of the population will look on in disgust. They've long known only the chosen are nominated, and only the chosen of the chosen are permitted to win. Attractive, pistol-packin’ mama bears like Lauren Boebert are already derided as controlled opposition for sexually frustrated working men among these people. Get a Gab account and see for yourself.
Of course, 4chan/pol/ called the Qanon phenomenon as fake from the beginning. The point is, more and more people have been coming into awareness since 2016. The presidency of Donald Trump was merely the opening chapter in a much bigger story. He’s a MacGuffin at best, a sometimes humorous incidental character for the most part now. That some people still think he has a chance to retake the White House is testament to the stubbornness of human delusion.
Perhaps the wildest card is the great majority of the population, who have long since tuned out politics, if they ever paid attention at all. They can suffer all manner of inconveniences, but after a while they become numb in body and spirit, which I think partially explains the labor shortage. Entropy has accelerated across the board in terms of infrastructure and all-around public morale. If only Big Tech could give those people a new toy to play with….
Here’s my last resolution. I’ll try not to talk too much about current events in my blog this year. It might not be that hard to resist doing. Looking back over my journal of the events of 2021, from the ludicrous spectacle of the “insurrection” to the stuck cargo ship to the broken supply lines to gas shooting up by over a dollar per gallon to the Taliban chasing US troops out of Kabul, our vandalized cities…I’m numb. This is not my home team, not my country, who cares? I’ll start caring again when the food gets scarce. Let’s pray that doesn’t happen this year.
Happy New Year 2022. Thus endeth our midwinter revels. Forward through the cold, gray wastes of weeks into March!
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